Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
I will not miss today when it is over.
My daughters go to private school. We are not rich - we are driving old, used cars, live in a modest but comfortable house, and we receive financial aid from the school as well as financial help from relatives. This means the world to us, our daughters' education - which at this age is intimately tied with their happiness - is more important than anything. But we've seen their friends' houses, and they are rich. Most if them are filthy rich.
They used to be good friends with their classmate M, and they still like M a lot. They invite M to all of their birthday parties, but it's been several years since they've been invited to one of M's birthday parties. Luckily they haven't noticed this yet. M's mother D is very outgoing - the life of every party, doctor to the stars, and always in the news for something wonderful that she or her children done. Now I should warn you that I'm an armchair psychologist. Although I am well aware that my theories may have no bearing whatsoever in reality, I have a theory about D. We met D's mother (and hence M's grandmother), who used to work in a school cafeteria. So I think D grew up poor. So poor that she's making up for lost time by living the high life now.
This year my daughters had 2 birthday parties - one for all the girl scouts in their troop, and a slumber party a week later for close friends. M was invited to both, and accepted both invitations. At the first party, she had a bag of clothes because she had come from a sleepover with another girl scout. The next week, we picked up our daughters and the friends who were coming to our slumber party after the girl scouts meeting - but D pulled me aside and told me that M couldn't go because she wasn't feeling well. I didn't believe D, in large part because M was standing right there having attended the girl scouts meeting. I believed her even less after the girls who did come to the party played a round of "what did you invite her for?", and I heard a week later that M had taken her turn at that game at school. So apparently my daughters have friends who don't all get along with each other. It happens at all ages! But D taught her daughter that lying is an acceptable way to treat people by doing it right in front of her. I lost whatever respect I had for D that day.
Fast forward to today, 2 months later. D called, going on about how uncomfortable this call is. And then told me that M can't find her silver peace pendant, and my daughter is wearing a silver peace pendant. If the pendant my daughter is wearing belongs to M, it will say Tiffany's on the back. So I called my daughter over, explained the situation, and she said she got it for her birthday. I should mention two things here - I do remember this pendant being among her birthday presents, and my daughter shares my inability to lie. She is the child who will admit to doing something she isn't supposed to do because lying about it will not even cross her mind, it simply is not in her soul. But to put the matter to final rest, I turned the pendant over. It does not say Tiffany's or anything remotely like it - it says 925. D was relieved, she told me how much she hated the time when her son's friend had stolen his video game.
Perhaps if we were rich I would have known better. Out of curiosity, I went to the Tiffany's website and clicked the link for silver jewelry. Then I clicked the link for pendants - a split second before the page changed, I saw it - 925. The symbol for Tiffany's silver. My heart sank.
My heart did not sink because there was any chance my daughter stole the necklace, I know her better than that. If anything, it fell out of M's clothes bag and I swept it up into the box of presents thinking that's what it was. My heart sank for two reasons - first, my daughter who loves this pendent will have to give it back to it's rightful owner. Second, my heart sank because this rich party girl who lies for her daughter might think that my daughter is a thief. But I guess that's life.
My daughters go to private school. We are not rich - we are driving old, used cars, live in a modest but comfortable house, and we receive financial aid from the school as well as financial help from relatives. This means the world to us, our daughters' education - which at this age is intimately tied with their happiness - is more important than anything. But we've seen their friends' houses, and they are rich. Most if them are filthy rich.
They used to be good friends with their classmate M, and they still like M a lot. They invite M to all of their birthday parties, but it's been several years since they've been invited to one of M's birthday parties. Luckily they haven't noticed this yet. M's mother D is very outgoing - the life of every party, doctor to the stars, and always in the news for something wonderful that she or her children done. Now I should warn you that I'm an armchair psychologist. Although I am well aware that my theories may have no bearing whatsoever in reality, I have a theory about D. We met D's mother (and hence M's grandmother), who used to work in a school cafeteria. So I think D grew up poor. So poor that she's making up for lost time by living the high life now.
This year my daughters had 2 birthday parties - one for all the girl scouts in their troop, and a slumber party a week later for close friends. M was invited to both, and accepted both invitations. At the first party, she had a bag of clothes because she had come from a sleepover with another girl scout. The next week, we picked up our daughters and the friends who were coming to our slumber party after the girl scouts meeting - but D pulled me aside and told me that M couldn't go because she wasn't feeling well. I didn't believe D, in large part because M was standing right there having attended the girl scouts meeting. I believed her even less after the girls who did come to the party played a round of "what did you invite her for?", and I heard a week later that M had taken her turn at that game at school. So apparently my daughters have friends who don't all get along with each other. It happens at all ages! But D taught her daughter that lying is an acceptable way to treat people by doing it right in front of her. I lost whatever respect I had for D that day.
Fast forward to today, 2 months later. D called, going on about how uncomfortable this call is. And then told me that M can't find her silver peace pendant, and my daughter is wearing a silver peace pendant. If the pendant my daughter is wearing belongs to M, it will say Tiffany's on the back. So I called my daughter over, explained the situation, and she said she got it for her birthday. I should mention two things here - I do remember this pendant being among her birthday presents, and my daughter shares my inability to lie. She is the child who will admit to doing something she isn't supposed to do because lying about it will not even cross her mind, it simply is not in her soul. But to put the matter to final rest, I turned the pendant over. It does not say Tiffany's or anything remotely like it - it says 925. D was relieved, she told me how much she hated the time when her son's friend had stolen his video game.
Perhaps if we were rich I would have known better. Out of curiosity, I went to the Tiffany's website and clicked the link for silver jewelry. Then I clicked the link for pendants - a split second before the page changed, I saw it - 925. The symbol for Tiffany's silver. My heart sank.
My heart did not sink because there was any chance my daughter stole the necklace, I know her better than that. If anything, it fell out of M's clothes bag and I swept it up into the box of presents thinking that's what it was. My heart sank for two reasons - first, my daughter who loves this pendent will have to give it back to it's rightful owner. Second, my heart sank because this rich party girl who lies for her daughter might think that my daughter is a thief. But I guess that's life.
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